Don't Let the Past Define You
Scripture Passage: Acts 26:4-12 (NASB)
4 “So then, all Jews know my way of life since my youth, which from the beginning was spent among my own nation and in Jerusalem, 5 since they have known about me for a long time, if they are willing to testify, that I lived as a Pharisee according to the strictest sect of our religion. 6 And now I am standing trial for the hope of the promise made by God to our fathers; 7 the promise to which our twelve tribes hope to attain, as they earnestly serve God night and day. For this hope, O king, I am being accused by Jews. 8 Why is it considered incredible among you people if God raises the dead?
9 “So I thought to myself that I had to act in strong opposition to the name of Jesus of Nazareth. 10 And this is just what I did in Jerusalem; not only did I lock up many of the saints in prisons, after receiving authority from the chief priests, but I also cast my vote against them when they were being put to death. 11 And as I punished them often in all the synagogues, I tried to force them to blaspheme; and since I was extremely enraged at them, I kept pursuing them even to foreign cities.
12 “While so engaged, as I was journeying to Damascus with the authority and commission of the chief priests,”
SUMMARY
Paul speaks at his trial before King Agrippa, King of Judea, and Festus, the procurator of Judea, and explains how he became a follower of Christ. He describes how he lived as a Pharisee, and that he now stands trial because of the promise that the Jews believe in (the promise of the Messiah). He describes how, before encountering Christ, he had persecuted Christians even to the point of putting them to death, and pursued Christians to foreign cities.
MEDITATION AND REFLECTION
The past can either be a weight around our neck or an inspiration to go forward. For so many of us, our past weighs us down. Even though God has forgiven us fully, we continue to define ourselves by our past struggles and failures. Paul is such an inspiration and proof that whatever our past is, we are not defined by that past; we are defined by our status as His children. Paul’s past is seemingly worse than others. Yet he isn’t weighed down at all by his history of persecuting Christians. Instead, he uses his past as a weapon to evangelize for Christ. His testimony is powerful because of who he was, not despite it.
APPLICATION
Lately I’ve been talking to my son about the concept of guilt, because he said at times that he “feels” guilty about something he did in the past and is having trouble letting go. I tell him that no matter what he has done, whether he told me or not, God has fully forgiven him, and that all he needs to think about is how to act in the future. But as I tell him these things, I’ve realized that I don’t fully believe it. Lately my heart has been weighed down by remembrances of past events and things I did that were hurtful, embarrassing, upsetting. I remember times when I said things in anger to my son, and fear that he will resent me or fear me because of them. I remember when I didn’t do well at work, and fear that my colleagues will look down on me because of them. And in my spiritual life, I remember my past, which is full of so many instances when I failed to follow through on spiritual commitments, and I assume that my future will be the same.
I need to be like Paul. My past doesn’t define me. No one’s past defines them. I am a child of God! No matter what I might have done in the past, God has rescued me, He has forgiven me, and I am beloved. If Paul, who was one of the worst of the Pharisees, can become the greatest evangelical in history, then God’s power is truly limitless and can transform anyone. I need only look to Him for the power to change.
PRAYER
Lord, please help me to look away from the past. Help me to look to You only. Help me to be inspired and encouraged by You, so that I might act not out of fear but with Your courage and hope. Only when I am completely resting in Your love can I show that love to others, instead of hesitation and fear. And help my son, my family, all those at Sarang and throughout the world to know the same thing – that we are defined by You and our relationship with You, not by anything about us or what we’ve done. Thank you Lord for Your overwhelming love! In Jesus’s name I pray. Amen.
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