Laying Down My Will So God Can Lead the Way
Scripture Passage: Acts 9:1-9 (NASB)
Now Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest, 2 and asked for letters from him to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any belonging to the Way, whether men or women, he might bring them in shackles to Jerusalem. 3 Now as he was traveling, it happened that he was approaching Damascus, and suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him; 4 and he fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” 5 And he said, “Who are You, Lord?” And He said, “I am Jesus whom you are persecuting, 6 but get up and enter the city, and it will be told to you what you must do.” 7 The men who traveled with him stood speechless, hearing the voice but seeing no one. 8 Saul got up from the ground, and though his eyes were open, he could see nothing; and leading him by the hand, they brought him into Damascus. 9 And for three days he was without sight, and neither ate nor drank.
SUMMARY
Saul had such murderous intent toward followers of Jesus that he went and asked for letters from the high priest to synagogues in Damascus so he could capture disciples of Jesus Christ and bring them to Jerusalem. As he was approaching Damascus, suddenly light from heaven flashed around him and he heard the voice of Jesus asking him “Why are you persecuting Me?” He couldn’t see even though his eyes were open so that men who traveled with him brought him to Damascus and he didn’t eat or drink anything for three days.
REFLECTION
Saul thought he was righteous in persecuting followers of Jesus and in his limited understanding thought the Way was deviating from the Jewish faith. As I meditate on why God had shone the light on Saul and spoke to him, I realize that Saul must have sincerely thought he was doing the right thing for the Jewish faith and God’s will was to use Saul and his zeal for the purpose of spreading the gospel instead of persecuting the Christians. The light from heaven and the voice of God causes him to be blind for a few days and Saul doesn’t eat or drink for three days. God had taken away his ability to see for a moment in order to change the course of his life. It is truly amazing how one encounter with God can change a person.
The year 2020 had been a year of uncertainty for many people in the US and in the world and I had sometimes reacted with fear and reacted with the fighting instinct. I had gotten into an argument over politics with friends on social media and I was getting into argument with my husband at home over politics so much that my children were saying “no more politics!’ Then, after I was done fighting, I started having the instinct to flee and I soon found myself watching videos about moving to another country. Following the news everyday, and how government laws and popular culture are changing in a way to make our children more vulnerable to immorality makes me want to just to run away from this country sometimes, I envy people who have moved out of this country. But, what if God is not finished with this country yet? What if God wants me to stay and pray?
I once watched a documentary about the difference between wolf and dog. Wolf relies on its natural instinct and for its pack for survival, but the dog relies on its master to provide its needs. I think my spirituality is like a wolf-dog hybrid. I sometimes have faith in God but under stress, I react like a wolf with the natural fight or flight response. I know I must completely place my trust in Jesus, that he will guide me. At this moment God is telling me to be still for a moment, stop looking at the world and wait for His guidance.
APPLICATION
I will take a break from following the news constantly, or watching videos or gathering information about moving to another country. Instead, I will focus my attention on reading the scripture, praying, and doing things to help those around me, right now, at the place where I am. I found out there is a neighbor who is dying of cancer. I will pray for the family members who are sad and depressed to see the suffering of their loved one and I will also write them a message and drop it off in their mailbox.
PRAYER
Heavenly Father, You are in control of all that is going on in this world. Even though the future of this world seems to be uncertain, I know Your love for us is always and forever unchanging and steadfast. You are faithful and You are our rock, our shield, and our fortress. You are our provider, and we do not have to worry about a thing. I repent for relying on my understanding and getting angry about events that are completely out of my control. I surrender my life to You. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
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